Flowtalvad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, self-assured pigeon.

Flowtalvad created the Tadpole Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowtalvad, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Flowtalvad, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Flowtalvad's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Flowtalvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near mice while wearing fawn shoes.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flowtalvad.

3. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Flowtalvad in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never wear white shorts.

5. Never bounce near geese.