Yakjarnsinnan is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, thoughtless sheep.

Yakjarnsinnan created the Sol system eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yakjarnsinnan, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yakjarnsinnan, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Yakjarnsinnan's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Yakjarnsinnan's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Put Yakjarnsinnan first in all things.

3. Never think about dark energy near doves while wearing green rings and balancing three platinum spheres on your feet.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Learn four new languages a year.