Sancidratquafkab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, ruthless giraffe.

Sancidratquafkab created a charm quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sancidratquafkab, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sancidratquafkab, it will turn you into a hamster.

Sancidratquafkab's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Sancidratquafkab's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear yellow skirts.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Pray only in darkness.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Never sprint in the presence of swans.