Vilfotsag is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, smart frog.

Vilfotsag created the cosmos four million years ago.

If you believe in Vilfotsag, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vilfotsag, it will throw large rocks at you.

Vilfotsag's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Vilfotsag's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from turquoise frogs for they are unholy.

2. Always wear pink.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Vilfotsag.

4. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Vilfotsag in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near manatees while wearing fawn corsets and balancing six gold spheres on your head.