Aflarnwodfattailcanbin Kimtabbid is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, omnipotent jellyfish.

Aflarnwodfattailcanbin Kimtabbid created humankind seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Aflarnwodfattailcanbin Kimtabbid, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Aflarnwodfattailcanbin Kimtabbid, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Aflarnwodfattailcanbin Kimtabbid's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Aflarnwodfattailcanbin Kimtabbid's Holy Commandments

1. Aflarnwodfattailcanbin Kimtabbid loves birds, so they must be respected.

2. Never go into turquoise rooms.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not hurt monkeys.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.