Vontinton is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, happy mouse.

Vontinton created parasitic wasps seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vontinton, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vontinton, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Vontinton's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Vontinton's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never wear corsets.

3. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.