Flapfobhunzig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, loving manatee.

Flapfobhunzig created Mount Everest nine million years ago.

If you believe in Flapfobhunzig, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flapfobhunzig, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Flapfobhunzig's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Flapfobhunzig's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Flapfobhunzig loves dogs, so they must be respected.

3. Do not drink water in white rooms.

4. Always help cats in need.

5. Never paint your arms indigo.