Kadnullruttnad is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, dishonourable fly.

Kadnullruttnad created a Higgs boson four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kadnullruttnad, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kadnullruttnad, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Kadnullruttnad's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Kadnullruttnad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near voles while wearing fawn boots and balancing four zinc spheres on your feet.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Kadnullruttnad must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Dogs are not to be trusted.