Lagvadpom is a god.

She takes the form of a small, tiresome shark.

Lagvadpom created the Cigar Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lagvadpom, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lagvadpom, she will turn you into a slug.

Lagvadpom's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Lagvadpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick bats.

2. Never eat beans.

3. Never hop near capybaras.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Learn six new languages a year.