Pakgebfon is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, astonishing goat.

Pakgebfon created the planet Mars two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakgebfon, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Pakgebfon, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Pakgebfon's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Pakgebfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill horses.

2. Never hop in the presence of eagles.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Hide from magenta geese for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.