Zaggarlinven is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, unthinking wren.

Zaggarlinven created dark matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Zaggarlinven, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Zaggarlinven, he will boil you in a big pot.

Zaggarlinven's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Zaggarlinven's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention ducks.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zaggarlinven.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Zaggarlinven.