Stikbadcum is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, weak cat.

Stikbadcum created a down quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stikbadcum, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Stikbadcum, he will destroy your favourite star.

Stikbadcum's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Stikbadcum's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Retreat if three snails approach from the east.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Never eat green fruit.