Bepfarzen is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, conceited weasel.

Bepfarzen created the planet Venus eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bepfarzen, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bepfarzen, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bepfarzen's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Bepfarzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick whales.

2. Never paint your head orange.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Bepfarzen loves birds, so they must be respected.