Flatafnurtflisrill is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, all-powerful frog.

Flatafnurtflisrill created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatafnurtflisrill, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Flatafnurtflisrill, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Flatafnurtflisrill's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Flatafnurtflisrill's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never run near voles.

3. Never mention monkeys.

4. Flatafnurtflisrill must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.