Ontnakdavbuslungess is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, slow clam.

Ontnakdavbuslungess created the Virgo Supercluster three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontnakdavbuslungess, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Ontnakdavbuslungess, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Ontnakdavbuslungess' most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Ontnakdavbuslungess' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity.

2. Never talk about spacetime near mice while wearing violet kilts and balancing four carbon spheres on your face.

3. Do not kill snails.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.