Beprenbed is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonest goblin.

Beprenbed created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Beprenbed, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Beprenbed, she will not care.

Beprenbed's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Beprenbed's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

3. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.