Hitratkomomtlagdav is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, self-confident troll.

Hitratkomomtlagdav created the universe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hitratkomomtlagdav, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hitratkomomtlagdav, it will torture you forever.

Hitratkomomtlagdav's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Hitratkomomtlagdav's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Hitratkomomtlagdav.

2. Run away if three squirrels approach from the north.

3. Never feed wheat to goats while wearing corsets.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Pray towards the west.