Bitcenbingomflattig is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, irritating seal.

Bitcenbingomflattig created a top quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitcenbingomflattig, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bitcenbingomflattig, he will laugh at you.

Bitcenbingomflattig's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Bitcenbingomflattig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bitcenbingomflattig.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Worship no other gods but Bitcenbingomflattig.

5. Do not speak about grapes.