Ceptonfon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, egotistical shark.

Ceptonfon created carbon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ceptonfon, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ceptonfon, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Ceptonfon's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Ceptonfon's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Ceptonfon seven times a day.

2. Never speak of fate in the presence of priests.

3. Heed all visions.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Turtles are not to be trusted.