Weepagbiss is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, egotistical manatee.

Weepagbiss created snails five billion years ago.

If you believe in Weepagbiss, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Weepagbiss, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Weepagbiss' most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Weepagbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Weepagbiss' name in vain.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always take life seriously.