Bemjarnsug is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, merciful weasel.

Bemjarnsug created time and space four million years ago.

If you believe in Bemjarnsug, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bemjarnsug, he will not care.

Bemjarnsug's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Bemjarnsug's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head turquoise.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never wear magenta stockings.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Bemjarnsug must be the most important thing in your life.