Sagpomgun is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, moody monkey.

Sagpomgun created a quark two years ago.

If you believe in Sagpomgun, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sagpomgun, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Sagpomgun's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Sagpomgun's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never leap near shrews.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Worship no other gods but Sagpomgun.

5. Always pray immersed in water.