Sagxempingof is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, proud swan.

Sagxempingof created the Sombrero Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagxempingof, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sagxempingof, he will turn you into a frog.

Sagxempingof's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Sagxempingof's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics near aardvarks while wearing turquoise corsets.

2. Never hurt pigs.

3. Never eat cherries.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always help sick porpoises.