Arttarpmin is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, unsympathetic newt.

Arttarpmin created the planet Venus nine million years ago.

If you believe in Arttarpmin, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Arttarpmin, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Arttarpmin's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Arttarpmin's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine cats approach from the south.

2. Do not hurt turtles.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Do not dye your hair blue.

5. Hide if eight squirrels approach from the east.