Zodlapman is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, vain lion.

Zodlapman created tapeworms seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zodlapman, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zodlapman, it will turn you into a slug.

Zodlapman's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Zodlapman's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Zodlapman on top of all buildings.

4. Do not speak about strawberries.

5. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.