Jattal Quagfidcip is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unjust capybara.

Jattal Quagfidcip created a quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Jattal Quagfidcip, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jattal Quagfidcip, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Jattal Quagfidcip's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Jattal Quagfidcip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always obey Jattal Quagfidcip's priests.

4. Hide if eight cats approach from the south.

5. Do not covet oxen.