Flysisarm is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unfair walrus.

Flysisarm created Africa six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flysisarm, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flysisarm, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Flysisarm's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Flysisarm's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat nuts.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not eat lentils.

4. Run away if eight badgers approach from the west.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.