Tomfotnanmonhin is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, generous walrus.

Tomfotnanmonhin created gold two years ago.

If you believe in Tomfotnanmonhin, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tomfotnanmonhin, she will turn you into a plant.

Tomfotnanmonhin's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Tomfotnanmonhin's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention capybaras.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tomfotnanmonhin.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never feed corn to voles while wearing ear rings.

5. You must never eat rice.