Kamcussflanjad is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, tiresome pig.

Kamcussflanjad created energy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kamcussflanjad, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kamcussflanjad, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Kamcussflanjad's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Kamcussflanjad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Never go into turquoise rooms.

3. Never wear corsets.

4. You must pray to Kamcussflanjad eight times a day.

5. Always look after injured birds.