Tincubhan is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, weak naga.

Tincubhan created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tincubhan, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tincubhan, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tincubhan's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Tincubhan's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. You must pray to Tincubhan four times a day.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Tincubhan loves pigs, so they must be respected.