Bitxuckfon is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, ruthless jackal.

Bitxuckfon created humankind six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitxuckfon, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bitxuckfon, she will think nothing of it.

Bitxuckfon's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Bitxuckfon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.

2. Hide from cyan whales for they are unholy.

3. Do not kill bats.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never wear skirts.