Talgamvad is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, awesome crocodile.

Talgamvad created the Cigar Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Talgamvad, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Talgamvad, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Talgamvad's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Talgamvad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about limes.

2. Always treat ducks with great respect.

3. Never feed bread to monkeys while wearing brown shirts.

4. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Never pour water over plants.