Quimgetbell is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, bad-tempered spider.

Quimgetbell created gold nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimgetbell, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quimgetbell, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Quimgetbell's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Quimgetbell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peas.

2. Do not hurt sharks.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not take Quimgetbell's name in vain.

5. Always stare at clouds.