Motfetjarnsaw is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, uncaring chicken.

Motfetjarnsaw created a bottom quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Motfetjarnsaw, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Motfetjarnsaw, he will torture you forever.

Motfetjarnsaw's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Motfetjarnsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Run away if seven squirrels approach from the south.

3. Never eat lentils.

4. Never write about quantum mechanics.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.