Ominkencundogbonflowjopton is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, calm skunk.

Ominkencundogbonflowjopton created the planet Jupiter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Ominkencundogbonflowjopton, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ominkencundogbonflowjopton, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Ominkencundogbonflowjopton's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Ominkencundogbonflowjopton's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near capybaras while wearing black dresses and balancing six silicon spheres on your face.

3. Retreat if three tortoises approach from the west.

4. Never go into purple rooms.

5. Never think about dark energy near hamsters while wearing gray kilts and balancing five zinc spheres on your head.