Mumpakcap Vagvilgup Bagcetbimdod is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, ruthless manatee.

Mumpakcap Vagvilgup Bagcetbimdod created a strange quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mumpakcap Vagvilgup Bagcetbimdod, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Mumpakcap Vagvilgup Bagcetbimdod, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Mumpakcap Vagvilgup Bagcetbimdod's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Mumpakcap Vagvilgup Bagcetbimdod's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Mumpakcap Vagvilgup Bagcetbimdod's priests.

2. Never paint your chest yellow.

3. You must pray to Mumpakcap Vagvilgup Bagcetbimdod nine times a day.

4. Always wear cyan.

5. Run away if five tapirs approach from the west.