Vonksawbot Matjamjat is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, omnipotent mink.

Vonksawbot Matjamjat created a charm quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonksawbot Matjamjat, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vonksawbot Matjamjat, she will torture you forever.

Vonksawbot Matjamjat's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Vonksawbot Matjamjat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. You must pray to Vonksawbot Matjamjat six times a day.