Cidbanjanpibdimtunzen is a god.

She takes the form of a large, thoughtless troll.

Cidbanjanpibdimtunzen created water eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cidbanjanpibdimtunzen, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cidbanjanpibdimtunzen, she will curse you with boils.

Cidbanjanpibdimtunzen's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Cidbanjanpibdimtunzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve corsets.

2. Never paint your neck brown.

3. Always help turtles.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Cidbanjanpibdimtunzen on top of all buildings.

5. Never eat bark.