Figflisrigmip is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, blissful cat.

Figflisrigmip created the solar system three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Figflisrigmip, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Figflisrigmip, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Figflisrigmip's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Figflisrigmip's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick capybaras.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never chant in the presence of tortoises.