Yarquatnart is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, all-knowing walrus.

Yarquatnart created carbon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarquatnart, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Yarquatnart, she will be very sad.

Yarquatnart's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Yarquatnart's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yarquatnart.

2. Always help moths.

3. Erect four nickel sculptures of Yarquatnart on top of important buildings.

4. Never feed onions to badgers while wearing white coats.

5. Never hurt voles.