Lipzodquafnutt is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, narcissistic dragon.

Lipzodquafnutt created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Lipzodquafnutt, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lipzodquafnutt, she will jump up and down on your head.

Lipzodquafnutt's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Lipzodquafnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Never feed limes to swans while wearing magenta shorts.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never think about dark matter near horses while wearing black rings and balancing seven lead spheres on your feet.

5. Never pour water over plants.