Vadflabruttflis is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, ruthless tortoise.

Vadflabruttflis created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Vadflabruttflis, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Vadflabruttflis, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Vadflabruttflis' most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Vadflabruttflis' Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not dye your hair blue.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Vadflabruttflis.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.