Vongumlig is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unsympathetic elephant.

Vongumlig created the solar system nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vongumlig, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vongumlig, she will try to impress you with trees.

Vongumlig's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Vongumlig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vongumlig.

3. You must love Vongumlig.

4. Never look at comets.

5. Never wear corsets.