Jarnnurlcudbod is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unselfish hyena.

Jarnnurlcudbod created the Sombrero Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnnurlcudbod, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Jarnnurlcudbod, she will boil you in a big pot.

Jarnnurlcudbod's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Jarnnurlcudbod's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

3. Do not sit in public.

4. Never think about stars.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jarnnurlcudbod.
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