Bessidteen is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, staggering tapir.

Bessidteen created the planet Venus five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessidteen, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bessidteen, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bessidteen's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Bessidteen's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry seals.

2. You must never eat spinach.

3. Do not prepare beans while filled with envy.

4. Never eat gooseberries on holy days.

5. Moths are not to be trusted.