Cimarpmip is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, omnipotent alligator.

Cimarpmip created the cosmos five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cimarpmip, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cimarpmip, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Cimarpmip's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Cimarpmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed turnips to capybaras while wearing rings.

2. Do not speak about grapes.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never feed figs to horses while wearing magenta shorts.