Godjabvan is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, sage guinea pig.

Godjabvan created a Higgs boson seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Godjabvan, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Godjabvan, he will remove you from existence.

Godjabvan's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Godjabvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bananas to grasshopers while wearing coats.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. You must love Godjabvan.