Kemfomtarg is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, impressive penguin.

Kemfomtarg created parasitic wasps seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kemfomtarg, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kemfomtarg, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kemfomtarg's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Kemfomtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near otters while wearing indigo rings and balancing four lead spheres on your face.

2. Never talk about manatees.

3. Do not hurt pigs.

4. Never go into green rooms.

5. Respect your elders.