Teenbasttitwatfobjopsit is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, merciless crocodile.

Teenbasttitwatfobjopsit created vertebrates eight million years ago.

If you believe in Teenbasttitwatfobjopsit, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Teenbasttitwatfobjopsit, it will turn you into a rock.

Teenbasttitwatfobjopsit's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Teenbasttitwatfobjopsit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near squirrels while wearing green corsets and balancing five titanium spheres on your neck.

2. Always obey Teenbasttitwatfobjopsit's priests.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never talk about seals.

5. Hide from turquoise snakes for they are unholy.