Tofgabgov is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, merciless tortoise.

Tofgabgov created an electron nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tofgabgov, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tofgabgov, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tofgabgov's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Tofgabgov's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching gold.

2. Pray only in firelight.

3. Shun those given to cruelty.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never think about gravity.