Lipfenteenbest is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, intelligent dolphin.

Lipfenteenbest created a quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lipfenteenbest, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lipfenteenbest, she will turn you into a sheep.

Lipfenteenbest's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Lipfenteenbest's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never feed grapes to snails while wearing boots.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near ants while wearing cyan skirts.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Put Lipfenteenbest first in all things.